I’ve been nesting in my studio “safe space” since my houseguest cleared out. (My studio also doubles as the guest bedroom, because adulting.) I made a makeshift recording studio in a guest bedroom, organized all of my storage in the closet, have been getting acquainted with some new equipment, studying, and even writing. (Yes, I am writing to you right now from the guest bed, next to the drum kit.
Anyway, this post isn’t just to brag about my studio. (Though, I am pretty proud of the work I’ve put into it.) I bring it up, because it is my safe place in my house. It’s a spot I can go to relax, get some quiet, and get some work done. I feel everyone should have their own safe space like that. Especially us parents!
I’m lucky enough to have a whole room that I can keep off limits to my family. My husband is lucky enough to have an office that would make any IT person or gamer drool. (And I’m extra lucky that his office is right by the play room, so he can open the door and keep an eye on Riley, while I’m in the studio downstairs.)
There are many people that do not have the luxury of having an extra room all to themselves. Before I had my studio, I had a corner of my bedroom with a bookshelf and a small sewing table as a desk. Before that, My safe space was hanging out in the garage, where I keep toys for Riley to play while we listened to music, and I browsed my phone. At one point I had a full desk in a closet!
The point is, you need to find a way to fit a safe space in for yourself. You need time to just be you, not “Mom” or “Dad,” and the only way you’ll get that much needed time is by setting up a spot to do it. Here are some ideas for “Lady/Man Caves:”
- A spot at the kitchen table where you can put on your headphones and focus on something else for a while.
- Repurpose on old bookshelf and/or chair to make a comfy corner in any room that you feel comfortable in.
- Clean out a closet, throw some pillows and blankets on the floor, hang some calming lighting and stash a box of stress snacks at the top of the closet.
- Clean out a small corner in the garage, put a chair and a fan out there. Hecks, you can even use an old computer monitor with an hdmi cord to a streaming device. There you have it, a private space.
- You can even create solo spaces outside. Use an old shed, make a comfy seating spot on the porch.
Okay, so now that you have a safe space set up, you need to set some rules for it. You need to make sure you can optimize that time to yourself. For example, my safe space rules are as follows:
- No pets. They get in the way, and create background noise when I am recording, or they distract me from working.
- No babies. Riley Bear can come visit, of course. However, she cannot hang out in my safe space. Mostly because she could really hurt herself or my equipment (which, all added up is not cheap).
- Keep it neat. Especially with all of the various wires, cords, and cables involved in my set-up, it can get messy fast. If I clean it all up when I’m done, my workstation is ready whenever I am, and I’m not burdened by the idea of having to clean up before starting a different project. (I don’t JUST play music in here.)
You can add other rules that suit your needs, like setting boundaries for your family, so they don’t take away from or prevent your self care in your safe space. Or, maybe you need to set a rule for yourself to actually use your safe space regularly. Tailor it to your needs.
Do you have a safe space for yourself? Share it with me on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter with #mypinkjanport.
On a side note, don’t forget to follow my music on social (you can find the links here). I’m hosting a live stream acoustic show on Facebook and Instagram this Wednesday (June 3rd, 2020) from my studio. Hope to “see” you there! ❤️